Adoption Visibility
So here I sit, day three of a weeks vacation, small family resort in Muskoka. My wife is out learning to waterski and my daughter is napping peacefully. At some point yesterday I got to thinking about how this vacation might be different if our original plan to adopt from China had come to fruition.
Our daughter would be a bit older although not a lot, but the big difference is that we would be a family very visibly formed through adoption. Now given the notable reserve of the average canadian, no one might have even made a comment directly to us by now but I am sure people would have noticed the fact nonetheless.
Back when we were waiting for a China referral I now realize I had a very romantic view of what life with a child adopted from China would be like. It is hard for me to describe, but I am willing to admit that part of it might of had to do with getting the admiration of people for doing such a wonderful thing. Elsewhere in my online travels there was recently a heated discussion I read that included a discussion about the “nobility” of adopting. Is adoption a noble act? Some without question think of it that way. Certainly many adoptive parents get the “oh what a wonderful thing you have done comments” so many people outside of the adoption world definitely think of it that way.
My own view is that adoption met a need and desire that my wife and I had to be parents, and in that sense I now see the advantage of the fact that our daughter is not visibly adopted. I think it also gives me a greater understanding of the extra challenges involved with transracial adoptions, both from the child’s perspective and the parent’s perspective.